Everyone imagines accomplishing things, and everyone finds him or herself largely incapable of producing them. Everyone wants to make a difference in life. But that is beyond the control of any of us. If this life is all there is, then everything will eventually burn up in the death of the sun and no one will even be around to remember anything that has ever happened. Everyone will be forgotten, nothing we do will make any difference, and all good endeavors, even the best, will come to naught.

Unless there is God. If the God of the Bible exists, and there is a True Reality beneath and behind this one, and this life is not the only life, then every good endeavor, even the simplest ones, pursued in response to God’s calling, can matter forever. That is what the Christian faith promises.

— “Every Good Endeavor” by Timothy Keller

I Won’t Turn Him Down

We had a terrible blizzard here a few days ago. Well, it really wasn’t terrible, but there was a lot of blowing snow and some very frigid temperatures. And of course, during all of this my family decided that apple pie was absolutely a necessity. So I jumped in my car and drove down the hill (the entire tenth of a mile) to King Soopers, just to pick up a bushel of apples.

On the way back from the store, I pulled up to the one stop sign on my route home, where a figure was crossing the street, hunkered down and wrapped in a jacket that seemed far too thin for the freezing temperatures and blowing snow. As they finished crossing the street I heard God whisper to me “Do something”. He was asking me to show an act of love and outwardly display the loving and tender heart that Jesus showed so often in His life and ministry here on earth. And for once, instead of arguing with Him in my head, I responded. I quickly changed my turn signal and pulled along side the hooded figure walking into the snow. I could tell at this point it was a woman. I rolled down my window and offered a ride as loudly as I could out into the wind. Without even thinking, she politely turned me down, and then turned away and continued on her course, into the wind and snow.

I was shocked. I couldn’t believe it. I’d listened to God. I’d done something that He’d asked, without even thinking, and it turned out absolutely nothing like I expected. For some reason this really bothered me, so I turned to a close friend who has been paramount in my journey with God. And you know what she said to me?

She would probably turn down Jesus too.

And it was like a lightbulb flicked on.

How many times have I turned down a ride with Jesus?
More than I can count.

How many times has he offered me shelter from the storm and from the blowing snow and wind?
More than I can count.

How many times have I been so blind that I couldn’t see my refuge and fortress right in front of me?
More than I can count.

He rolls down the window and yells out to us, offering us salvation, forgiveness, shelter and protection from the storm and from this world. And so many times we just keep on keepin’ on, doing our own thing and following our own path.

But we are lucky – our God is relentless. He calls. He asks. All the time. Over and over again.

I realized in that moment, I will most definitely be in the car during that storm, with Jesus at my side, as my companion. So the next time He offers me a ride? I won’t turn Him down.

Love Others As Jesus Loves You

Recently, God has been teaching me about Christlike love and what it truly means. As part of my search for purpose and fulfillment, I have been reading from the Pathway to Purpose for Women devotional. I’ve been spending about a week on each chapter, in an effort to really study and meditate on the lessons. Well the last week’s lesson was all about Christlike Love.

I am giving a new commandment to you – love each other just as much as I love you. Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples.John 13: 34-35

The main point here is that Jesus didn’t just give His disciples a new rule or a new idea, He gave them (and us) a new commandment. Loving others around us and in our lives (and those we’ve never met before) as Jesus loves us, is a commandment. It’s something He’s commanded us to do in order to live our lives as God intended. And not only that, it is critical and central to the purpose that God has planned for each and every one of us.

Jesus goes on to explain exactly what he means in the Gospel of John:

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you… My command is this: love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.John 15:9a, 12-13

And then – He did. He laid down His life for us, so that we may be forgiven of all our sins and have eternal life in heaven.

This revelation was huge for me. As a fairly new Christian, even the basic principles that some people discover when they are younger, bring me a great amount of joy and happiness. And at the same time, so much reverence for our Lord and Savior. Christ’s willingness to die for our sins was the ultimate act of love – to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. That is the ultimate definition of what it means to love others as Jesus loves us.

Christlike Love

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. John 15:13

Just a verse I’ve been meditating on for the past few days. It popped up in two different studies over the course of two hours, so I took that as a hint.

Before Mercy Found Me

Before I knew God I was unfulfilled, unsatisfied and constantly searching for love, acceptance and a “happily ever after”. I knew something was missing in my life, but at the time I had no idea what it was. All I knew was that I was able to find some semblance of it and a bit of satisfaction and fulfillment in relationships. Even if only for a short amount of time, the newness of a relationship and the way it made me feel was enough to quench my thirst, if only temporarily.

A new relationship is hopeful. At the start you always have the hope that this might be “the one” and the answer that you’ve been searching for. You hope that everything is complete, everything is safe and the future is settled. A new relationship gives you hope that you finally have a direction in life and can plan for the future. Hope for something to go your way and something to be good in your life forever. Hope for forever-happiness and fulfillment will always be there and never cease. The beginning of a relationship is almost, as one would describe an addiction or a high. The feelings are amazing at first…

And then, in every relationship, the darkness creeps in. Those same, recurring feelings of unhappiness, unsatisfaction, unworthiness, boredom and lost hope. Some thing in me would realize that it was just not right. That feeling that I was searching so hard to find, the ability to feel whole and complete and happy, would disappear. It was gone. And so, I did the only thing that helped, I searched for that feeling again. And in the process I hurt countless people. I jumped around, seeking and searching for that feeling of wholeness and perfection – for happiness that would never last.

In the process, I neglected relationships with friends who were a source of comfort and support, who were solid rocks for me. We grew distant and eventually, my need for a relationship overtook any need for friendship and those friendships disappeared and fell to the wayside, broken and unmendable.

When I moved to Colorado Springs, instead of using relationships to find that feeling, I went through countless career searches, job searches and daydreams about what I would achieve in my life. I applied to several jobs that I felt qualified for and was turned down for each and every one. I bought the expensive clothes, purchased a car and tried to live the life I felt I was entitled to, because I “believed in myself”. I replaced the need for a relationship, with the need for a career “to be proud of”. I searched and searched for something that would look good to others and something that I thought I would enjoy.

And in the end, that search for wholeness, for the need to matter, for a purpose in life and for happiness, left me broken and with overpowering feelings of unworthiness, unhappiness and hopelessness. I felt as though I was destined to wait tables for the rest of my life. I began to believe I was inferior and incapable of anything and I was destined for a life of mediocrity. So I accepted that. I accepted my life of mediocrity, where I was deemed unworthy of a fulfilling job and career and unworthy of a purpose in life…

And then I felt God, reaching into my life…

#SheReadsTruth – Songs of Ascent

Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds his people both now and forevermore.Psalm 125: 1-2

I am so very lucky to have found #SheReadsTruth – and done a few of the studies with the community there. While I am pretty shy and I rarely comment on the readings of the day, I’ve found that the readings are always spot on and exactly what I need at that particular moment. They’re generally written by a team of women, so they always seem so much more relevant to me and my circumstances. I know that one of the first studies I did in the Fall of 2012, is what led me to make such a large commitment to studying God’s Word in 2013. God placed #SheReadsTruth in my life for a purpose and I am ever so thankful.

Today was Day 1 of a new plan – Songs of Ascent. This is an area of the Bible I have never really studied in depth (Psalms 120-134), but after reading a brief description of this section of the Psalms, I can’t wait to learn more about each individually. In addition to studying the Songs of Ascent, the readings will look at passages from the New Testament in preparation for Easter (I can’t believe it’s so close).

So from what I’ve researched, the Songs of Ascent were sung as our people traveled to Jerusalem each year. Jerusalem was set high up on a hill, hence the phrase “going up to Jerusalem” and “Songs of Ascent“. After I discovered that fact, it was so much easier to picture myself as a pilgrim, traveling towards Jerusalem, and to understand the long journey that it was.

I can only imagine the feelings of those making the pilgrimage, as they rounded the corner and saw the mountains around Jerusalem in the distance (Psalm 121). And then the overwhelming feeling of finally stepping foot inside Jerusalem and raising eyes and hearts in prayer and praise to God for His mercy (Psalm 123). How amazing it would be!

At this point in my life, Psalm 125 really spoke to me. After the events of yesterday, to know that God surrounds me and protects me in times of fearful danger (just as He surrounds Jerusalem) is amazing. Is it so overwhelming (in a good way) to know that our God and His love are stronger and more enduring than mountains. He will protect me, with His mountains of love and power.

Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be shaken but endures forever.
As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the Lord surrounds his people
both now and forevermore.
The scepter of the wicked will not remain
over the land allotted to the righteous,
for then the righteous might use
their hands to do evil.
Lord, do good to those who are good,
to those who are upright in heart.
But those who turn to crooked ways
the Lord will banish with the evildoers.
Peace be on Israel.
Psalm 125

And what really amazes me, is that “those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion”. Our trust in Him makes us just as strong and steadfast as the mountains, ever-enduring and ever-strong. With our trust placed, correctly, in the Lord, we can withstand the rain, withstand the thunder, the lighting and the wind. We cannot be shaken or moved. We endure forever, through Him, and with His mighty arms around us.

Watch Over Me, Lord

The Lord will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.Psalm 121:7-8, NIV

I have never been more scared in my life, than I was this morning. I’ve never had such an overwhelming sense of fear or terror.

At 5:30 or so this morning, I could hear Decker whining to go outside, so I jumped out of bed a bit earlier to take him out. In general, I am a fairly paranoid person, and I know that. I tend to watch all of the cars that drive by our townhome and I notice when one is out of place or doesn’t belong. Sometimes I let it overwhelm me and it gets the best of me. Honestly – it’s something I’ve really been trying to work on, because I don’t want fear to affect the way I live my life.

Well this morning, as soon as I stepped out of house, I noticed an older (creepy) van driving around behind another building in our complex. Because I’m trying not to be overly paranoid, I just let it go and continued about my business. I took Decker across the street to our normal spot and he wandered around for a minute or two. I did have my back to the area that the truck had disappeared, however.

I turned to head back inside and noticed that the van was headed back my way. When I got close to the street, I slowed down to let the van go ahead of me, so that I could cross behind it, but instead of driving forward, the van slowed to a complete stop. Then it’s lights went off and the driver door started to open. At that point I heard a voice in my head telling me to run (and now, I know it was God warning me), so I did. Decker and I ran across the street, up the stairs and into the house. I never looked back.

My first thought was to run upstairs and see if the van was still there, which I did. And in the time that it took me to get up one flight of stairs, the van had driven up the street about 500 feet and pulled into a parking spot. He then sat there, for 30 seconds to a minute (I can’t tell really, because I was shaking and crying), and then backed out without his lights on and drove off (without his lights on).

I sat there, shaking, scared and crying for a few minutes. I said a prayer, thanking God for keeping me out of harms way and for getting me back to the house safely. And then I went to wake up my husband. I actually scared him when I walked into the bedroom, because (and get this) – he was having a dream that I was missing and he was searching for me.

I did end up calling the police and reporting the incident, but now I am here, all alone, facing the fear. And surprisingly I feel okay, because I know that God is here and He is protecting me. I know that God saved me and He was who told me to run. I don’t think I would have done so, if I hadn’t heard His voice. I feel like He tried to warn me earlier in the morning too, because I woke up thinking about how I needed to be more careful when going outside alone.

And now looking back, I know that even though I might have been in danger, I feel safe and protected knowing that my God is here with me always, watching over me, now and forevermore.

Keep Your Appointment

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.Jeremiah 29:13

The first thing you have to know about me is that I am all about routine. It’s just part of who I am. My morning routine is by far the most important part of my day, because it includes my “appointment” with God, if that’s what you wish to call it.

My days usually start at 6am. On the weekdays, I wake up to my husband’s first alarm, say a quick prayer of thanksgiving to God for giving me another day to live and to glorify His name. I thank Him for giving me such a great husband and a wonderful, healthy son. When the second alarm goes off 5 minutes later, I wait for Eric to get into the shower and then I jump up and head downstairs. I open the dog’s kennel, grab whatever I made for Eric’s lunch and drop it into his lunchbox. I pour our coffee, pour some OJ for Eric, run outside with the dog and then feed him. Then I grab my coffee and curl up on the couch with the iPad. Eventually Decker (the pup), joins me on the couch and falls back asleep with his head on my feet.

I use the iPad for all of my reading and bible studies. It just seems to work better for me at this point than a notebook and my printed Bible. Right now I’m using the YouVersion Bible app, Pages for iPad and a devotional on iBooks. My current devotional is “Hearing from God Each Morning” by Joyce Meyer. I bought the entire devotional after trying out the 14 day version on YouVersion. It was amazing and completely changed my relationship with God, so I knew I needed to do a whole year’s worth of reading (and it’s been a blessing so far).

Well anyways – after I curl up, I say a quick prayer asking God to open my ears and my heart, reveal His truth and teach me through His Word. I read through my yearly reading plan and then I start my daily devotional reading from Hearing From God Each Morning. I take notes in Pages, noting the verse of the day and then bits and pieces of the reading that really stuck out to me. This specific devotional ends with God’s Word for You Today, which I add into my notes.

Then I pray. And I try to pray for at least 10-15 minutes. Sometimes it’s shorter, sometimes longer, depending on the depth of the reading and how it’s affected me. Because I wasn’t raised in a Christian household, prayer is still relatively new to me. At this point in my life it’s more of a conversation, in which I express my current feelings (requests, thanksgivings, praise and worship) and then I just sit and meditate, while enjoying God’s presence. Sometimes He speaks to me, other times, I just enjoy being with Him. I know He’s there with me, wrapping me in His warm embrace and I enjoy it as much as I can. I savor the moment. Most often, I can picture Him sitting there, facing me, with His forehead pressed against mine and His eyes closed. Enjoying the time with me, just as much as I enjoy the time with Him.

Well this morning, for the first time in a LONG time, I did my yearly readings, but decided to go back to sleep (curled up on the couch with the dog, mind you). And when I woke up an hour later, I turned on the iPad and opened my reading for the day, from Hearing From God Each Morning… And lo and behold, today’s devotional reading was titled “Keeping Your Appointment”!

Really? I mean, I know God has a sense of humor, but this was just TOO perfect for the circumstances to be coincidental. For the first time in months, I missed my standard time with God and the reading of the day just happened to be about that exact subject. I had to stop and say a bit of a humorous prayer about this, of course.

And then I read the devotional for the day and I realized just how important it really is to make an appointment with God and to KEEP that appointment. So often, we neglect our time with God, because we know that He is always available. In my reading, Joyce points out that if we made an appointment for kidney dialysis every week, we would never miss it. Our time with God should be as serious of an appointment for our spiritual health as dialysis would be for our physical health. The quality of our lives (both spiritually and physically) is greatly affected by the time we spend with Him, so we should always strive to make that a priority.

So moving forward, I’ve made it a goal to complete my readings at close to the same time every day. It’s just a personal goal and something I can only strive for, but I think it will be helpful. In the past few months, I’ve been doing my readings every day and I’ve gotten to the point where I actually look forward to the mornings, because I know what to expect – time with God.

And spending that time with God, even if we don’t hear from Him, still helps us to sow good seeds, which will eventually lead to a good harvest in our own lives.

Joyce Meyer says:

With persisitence, you will reach the point where you understand more of God’s Word, where you are enjoying fellowship with Him, and where you are talking to God and hearing His voice.

Isn’t this what we are striving for after all – understanding, fellowship and hearing from Him?


“This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘Write in a book all the words I have spoken to you.”Jeremiah 30:2

This blog is the result of a single word whispered to me during a time of deep prayer. It was a prayer of desperation, in which I expressed my desire for purpose and direction in my life. It was a prayer session that lasted for at least 30 minutes, where more than a few tears fell.

All I wanted was a direction to head in this life. A task to complete, something. Just one little tid-bit that would give me some sort of clue as to where my life was headed and what plans God had in store for me. And the only word I received in response was “Write…”. Write a journal, write a blog, I have no idea what He actually meant, but I started writing every day after my readings and prayers.

I’ve never been one for journaling or keeping a diary. I started a blog when I was pregnant with Jacob, but a few years ago it fell to the wayside and I stopped writing. I stopped feeling any passion when I was blogging. Writing about the last time he spit up on me just didn’t seem important, so I backed off and eventually quit all together.

But when I heard God say “Write…” I knew I had to take action, and so, this blog was born. At the time I didn’t have a name, or a set direction (and I still really don’t), but eventually God revealed a little bit of His plan to me and I was able to gain the courage to start writing and share that writing with the world.

I’ve been trying to think of the best way to start things off here for days, weeks even, and this is all I could come up with. So here I will journal my journey with God, my prayers, my hopes and my dreams. And hopefully along the way He will reveal a bit more insight into His plans for me.

Write He said… and Write I will…

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